Dear Breanna, I’m really enjoying your question and
answer column. I hope you don’t think too lowly of me for telling you what is
going on in my life.
Here’s the deal. I’m not really the landlord type but I
inherited an apartment building from my grandmother who loved me more than her
other grandkids. I live in one of the apartments. I’m an ‘easy’ landlord with
my tenants. Some people would say too easy… and too personal with them. I’m a
single guy in my 30’s and have a great job so I can afford some “sacrificed”
rents.
Here’s the problem: One of the tenants is a hot single
chick that I’m extra friendly with. We’ve gone to a few daytime ballgames
together, smoked pot together, and go out for coffee often. I can easily kid
around with her. She comes off very strait laced but I think there’s a little
kink hiding under the façade. But I’m not 100% sure.
Well, the other day, while we were stoned, she started to
forewarn me about the rent being a little late this month. I was kidding with
her and replied in a stern British accent which I don’t have since I’m American,
“If that rent is late again, young lady, I’ll have no recourse but to drape you
over my lap and punish your lovely bottom for all the interest I’ll be losing
by the thrifts. So, there!”
Her reaction blew me away. She stared at me for a
surprisingly long time. Her eyes narrowed like to bedroom eyes and her face got
flushed. And she finally said quietly, “Really? You’d spank me for the rent
being late? What about not paid at all?
But we didn’t laugh. We kept staring at each other. And
then, suddenly, the doorbell rang and shocked us out of our stoned attempt for
negotiating trading something kinky for the rent. Unfortunately, the
conversation had to end right there.
Breanna, I’ve been a wreck all week. I can’t eat or
sleep. All I think about is the possibility of taking off her panties and
draping her over my lap and spanking her ass cheeks and maybe probing her
asshole. I don’t even have a desire to fuck her. I just want her to give up her
ass to me for spanking and exploration in lieu of the rent.
Am I sick? Is this legal to do? Should I even do it even
if it’s legal? Should I bring it up? Does it make it more moral if she brings
it up first? I’m so confused but I can’t get the image out of my head of her
letting me pull her ass cheeks apart while draped over my lap so submissively.
Help!!
Signed: Landlord
________________________________________
Dear
Landlord,
Thank
you so much for writing. I can see your dilemma and hope that I can help you. I
will be completely truthful too, and hopefully give you some things to
seriously consider.
First,
and foremost- you are not sick. This fantasy is very common by so many and is a
frequent scenario used in role-play—almost verbatim. In fact, Big Bang Theory
had an episode that showed the same type of situation. So, you're good in your
desires and are not alone.
Second,
I'm not an attorney and can't give you legal advice; however, I do want to give
you some food for thought and provide some serious questions to ask yourself.
1 The first thing I noted was the
presence (or lack of) healthy boundaries. Giving of yourself is a wonderful and
fabulous thing, but sadly not everyone will treat a gift with the respect it's
offered. That being said- please be careful that people don't take advantage of
you. You own property, you have a good job, have an education… you can be a
prime target for a lawsuit. You have a lot to lose, so you have to think like a
businessman and protect your investments. Be wise and, if necessary, hire an
apartment manager/service so that you are no longer involved in money handling.
To add to your safety, pay rent as well—this protects you from conmen.
Contacting HUB and discussing the legalities and professional boundaries of
tenants might provide you better direction.
2 How well/long have you known this gal?
What is her credit history, job history, relationship background,
background/legal check? I don't mean to sound cynical, but the fact that you
guys are getting stoned places you in a position for her to make claims that
you are forcing yourself on her or demanding 'favors' in exchange for rent,
etc. There's an old saying "Don't dip your pen in the company ink." A
situation like yours is a prime example.
3 The fact that you are questioning the
legal and moral aspect of the situation is a big red flag. That suggests to me
that you have already considered the above issues and understand the possible
consequences of pursuing it. Even a contract won't protect you from a
rape or harassment claim in court. Again, I don't know the extent of the
relationship and am only commenting using the information you provided.
4 IF this is a girl you want to develop a
relationship with, then start there. Stay vanilla until you really get to know
her and she proves that she wants to be with you, not because of your money. Go
on dates like picnics, hikes, etc where you spend limited funds and have to
talk. If she is responsible and mature, she will be paying her rent on time and
respect your boundaries (which includes NOT providing sacrificial rent). From
the view of an outsider, the tenants are paying you with favors (i.e. sex).
Like it or not, it can be construed as prostitution on their behalf and sexual
harassment on yours.
5 My final question is about your dating
history and what opportunities you have to meet women outside of the building.
There are plenty of kinky chicks in the world and you deserve to find a woman
who loves you for you. My advice, again based on the information you provided
and my personal experience as a therapist, is to strongly separate business
from pleasure. When you play with fire, you risk getting burned and I would
hate to see that happen.LUV = (Listen, Understand, and Validate)
Bree +Breanna Hayse
Bree +Breanna Hayse